My Testimony of God's Love

My Testimony of God’s Love

One summer day, when I was a child, I went to stay with my cousin, who lived in a village in Manitoba (Canada), and she took me to her church. For the first time in my life I went to Sunday school and heard about Jesus and His love for me and that I had to make a choice to accept Him in order to be a child of God. The teacher related to us, in a parable, in order to explain the salvation message.

Please read all the way through.  This love and peace is for you too.

She described it this way:  She said there were 2 different camps in the world and that we needed to make a choice which one we were going to belong to.  We could choose the camp that belongs to Jesus which was full of life, joy, healing, peace, deliverance from evil, abundance, and everything that is good, or we could just stay in the enemy’s camp (the devil’s) which was full of lies, diseases, violence, famine, depression, murder, addictions, and everything that is bad.

While she was speaking it was like the whole world stood still and all I heard was her voice and it seemed like a spotlight directed toward me. Everything else was blurred around me and her words were marching towards me. She said that if I wanted to accept Jesus and everything that belonged to His camp (or kingdom), this acceptance would give me eternal life with God, in Heaven. She said Jesus was like a bridge that would lead me to God, but I would have to ask Him to come into my heart (or give Him first place in my life). The teacher said if I wanted, I could do that myself at home. I was very excited because I knew the choice I wanted to make and could not wait to do it. I remember, as if it were yesterday, kneeling at my bedside that night, and making my choice to accept Jesus.

Because I didn’t remember word for word the prayer she told us to say, being a child, all I knew to do was make a door on my heart and pretend to draw it, and then open it and I said something like this -   “Jesus I choose You and I ask You to come into my heart”, I want to be in Your camp.”

I remember immediately after, feeling joy and peace. I jumped up into bed, so happy.  But I thought what if He tries to get out!  So, I said, “Jesus, I am locking the door and throwing away the key, You’ll never ever get out of my heart.” – I MEANT IT! 

I felt different, I felt happy, my spirit was now born again. I did not even know that I was born again. I do not remember that word being used, and the church my family went to never mentioned salvation or being born again.  All I know is that I felt brand new inside!!!  The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold all things have become new”. I had become a brand-new creation in Christ. In 1 John 4:8 it says, “God is love”.  I had received a spiritual life filled with God’s love. No wonder I felt so good!  Then I fell right to sleep.

At that time none of my family were born again, or even knew what that meant. So, I had no one to teach me the Word of God, except of course the Holy Spirit of God, which I did not know lived inside of me when I accepted Jesus. Growing up some awful things happened to me, such as, emotional, and sexual abuse.  By the time I was a teenager I was a full blown rebellious young lady because of it.  I was trying to run away from the pain of the abuse and trying to mask it with alcohol. 

Our church never taught healing or righteousness, in fact most of it was just repeating a bunch of memorized prayers. I remember having to chant “Lord I am not worthy to receive you, etc. and all kinds of lowly statements like that. I did not like church anymore… in fact, because of the abuse I suffered, I thought God must have hated me. (I did not know the scriptures that said, God was love).

I graduated and married an abusive man. He hurt me and our baby. I continued to live in fear and humiliation with him. My second son was born, and my heart could not, emotionally, and physically, take it anymore. I was under so much stress and fear that my heart began to go into atrial tachycardia often. In the middle of the night, when my husband was in the bar, I was so afraid he would come home and continue the abuse he started the night before. He had hurt our 4-year-old son, so out of fear, I took both my children and left. I had no money, no job, no clothes, no furniture. I went to my parents for refuge. My parents did not know how to pray, but I was safe and protected there. They kept us for 3 months while I got physically and emotionally well. I was only 23 years old, 2 children, and alone and very afraid.

The emotional and physical torment from my ex-husband continued even after leaving him, in fact it was worse, as he was desperate to get me back. My oldest son got abused during visitation. I had no idea that it was the enemy (the devil) that was doing all these awful things to us, not God’s punishment.  I had not yet even read the Bible and did not know how to spiritually defend myself and my children by using the Word of God and prayer as my defense.

One summer I decided to send my sons to Dauphin Bible Camp hoping that God would heal them. They too got born again while they were there at Bible Camp, but unlike me, they got taught in the Word for a whole week and knew that they were born again. They witnessed to me about Jesus, not knowing that I was already a child of God.  I was so numb from abuse and my lifestyle that I did not even hear what they said to me.

My mind was not renewed to the things of God due to lack of teaching. After several weeks of them going to church, and me staying home with a hangover, I finally gave in to their pleas to go to church with them. The service was none like I had ever experienced in my traditional church. There were no “we are not worthy” chants to repeat. In fact, the pastor said I was worthy to receive Jesus! He said God did not want those bad things to happen to me and God wanted to heal me. The pastor said if anyone wanted to make Jesus the Lord of their life, not just Savior, to come forward.

My oldest son, who was sitting next to me, was praying fervently for me. I felt a tugging at my heart to go up to the front. I knew in my heart that it was time for me to let go of the hurt and to let God into every area of my life (not just part of it). I leaned over to my son and said, “I want to go up there for prayer”.

My son took me up to the alter, and when I told the women up at the alter that I came to make Jesus Lord, they cried. I thought what is all this crying about. Over the years of hurting, I had become hardened-in my heart and I did not like to cry.

I prayed with them. It was time to let go of the junk from the past and make Jesus the Lord over my life. Everyone was rejoicing, but I still really didn’t know why they were so emotional until I got back to my seat. God flooded me with His love and the healing that I needed began. Right in front of all those people, I tried to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t cry, because I thought it would hurt too much to allow my feelings to come out, and that if I started crying I thought I would never stop.  But His love was so strong, it healed my heart and I began to sob, and it did not hurt. I cried like a baby and it felt so good!! I felt the love that I needed for so long. God was washing me with His love, with Himself.

That night, as I lay in bed, I let out a joyful cry “hey, we are all going to heaven” and the boys woke up and ran into my room and we had a little Hallelujah dance as we thanked God that we were all going to be in Heaven together.

What a difference that experience, of making Jesus Lord of my life, and being baptized with His Spirit, made in my life. I now knew I was forgiven, and I knew HIM! I could now read the Bible and get revelation and knowledge from God’s Word. I could now in my inner being sense His direction for my life. Did my life become perfect – no, but I had joy.

If you want to begin the emotional healing you need and want to begin a new life, clean, forgiven, and on your way to heaven, you can. The Bible say that you must be born again to enter into Heaven (see the book of John – Chapter 3 verse 3).

The Bible says it is easy, but you must believe in heart then confess it with your words.

Acts 2:21 says that “Whoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved”. And in the book of Romans chapter 10, verses 9-10 it tells you how to do it – SAY out loud or confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead then you will be saved. And you do not have to get your life all in order before you do it. The Bible says that Jesus did not come to condemn us but to save us… and that Jesus came to be our “scapegoat” for sin if we would only BELIEVE AND ACCEPT HIM.

Jesus tells us He is the only way to God – read John 14:6 where Jesus says “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

If you would like help to pray, you could pray this prayer for salvation, so you too could be born again:

Heavenly Father,

I ask You to forgive me of all my sins. I accept what Your son Jesus did for me on the Cross. I accept Jesus as my Savior and my Lord. I believe that He died for me and was raised from the dead so I could be saved, forgiven, and enjoy life. I accept Your forgiveness and I give my life to You right now, fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Come into my heart Jesus, heal me, change me. Help me to live for You. Thank you for saving me and healing me and setting me free.

In Jesus Name, AMEN.